Planning a memorial is one of the last things any person wants to be forced to do for a loved one, but as unwelcome as it is, it is often an inevitable thing to have to do. When preparing for a memorial, it is important to communicate with the memorial director as they can help you make decisions for the memorial based on what is tactful and able to be provided by the funeral home, as well as provide resources for assisting in planning. This article will provide a guide for the best questions to ask your funeral director during the planning stages.

Budget and Pre-Planning

As hard as it is to think about, there are a lot of costs that come with a funeral and memorial service. Useful things to ask about are whether or not your loved one planned for and saved money for their own funeral. Did they prepare funds, or will you be paying for the service yourself? Did they leave preferences for how they wished to be remembered? Did your loved one want a religious or secular ceremony? Did they want to be buried or cremated? All of these are important decisions to make and are useful to know if your loved one answered them ahead of time or not.


It is the funeral director’s job to know how many people the funeral home can hold for a memorial service, and this is integral information to know when deciding whether to hold a public or private service. They can also help decide who should read the eulogy during the memorial service, how many chairs will be needed, and how many invitations should be sent out. The director is in charge of just how many people can attend a single memorial service, so this is one of the more important parts of a memorial to communicate with the director about.

Music and Decorations

What is the best music to play during your loved one’s memorial service? Did they like hymns and soft music, or would they have preferred to go out with a bang and with upbeat music? Should the family provide lilies to decorate the memorial service, or accept flower arrangements from outside friends and family? Are there other elements that were important to your loved one that should be included in the memorial? These are all things to consider when planning for the aesthetic of the memorial, and the director can help you choose what would work best within your space and budget.

Things to Remember

The funeral director is there to assist you in every way during your time of need. Whether you need help in the planning process or need support while you grieve, it is the director’s job to help you make the process as easy as possible under the circumstances given. Never be afraid to ask for help or admit that you just can’t do a certain part of the planning due to emotions.